Why does Mike advocate for Smiles for Jake?
Who is Mike?
Where I started with Smiles for Jake is sadly a part of the origin story of the foundation. During that time, I was a husband, dad of four, and now a grandfather to two boys. I was an educator and coach in the Brainerd Lakes area, and closely tied to the Brainerd school district–where I was hired as a teacher, coach, and administrator. I then served as a high school/middle school principal through Staples-Motley in Managua.
Smiles for Jake found me.
I was coming off the passing of my wife’s fast cancer in March. And throughout summer, if there was a concert stage to work, I worked it. The only weekend I was home was when we held her funeral. Many, many people came to our house to celebrate her life. We called it a send off. And then the rest of that summer, I ran hot, and I wasn’t fooling anybody that not only was in my inner circle, but just knew me. Like, “the guy’s starting to fall apart.”
Then I made the announcement: I’m going to resign from my career in education. I had an estate sale, and I sold my house. And then it was an October morning where it’s the first time I woke up consciously, like, “what happened to my life?”. And I was very lost.
Ironically, that was when Sarah Smith, our executive director, contacted me to say, “How are you? Are you okay? We have a vacancy on the board and I think it’s time you get involved and you might have a story to share.”
Jake’s dad, Hop, and I are the best of friends. Jake and my son were friends, so it was personal as a part of the Brainerd community. I had no idea that five years later, Smiles for Jake would be my opportunity to not only get mental health support for myself through their resources, but become a part of the organization. So I’ve lived it–Smiles for Jake is a part of me, and it’s very much what I believe in and where I want to direct my passion and purpose at this stage of my life.
Where is Mike Now?
I spend my time on concert stages, which, when work is your hobby, you’re living life the right way. Not only am I a part of Lake’s Jam, Midsummer Music Fest, We Fest, and a few others when they come and go, but also one of the pals of the Gravel Pit, which gosh, if you’ve not played it, we’re really fun… Come on out. We’re a destination! Additionally to that, I’m proud to say that I’ve been a part of Smiles for Jake from the beginning, but now serve as one of the board members, and I would say a big part of the educational component within the communities and schools in Minnesota.
Mike on why he advocates.
What Does #WeAreAllJake Mean to You?
I knew Jake. He was an amazing son, brother, athlete, student. He was the kid that smiled all the time. But nobody knew what was going on inside him.
That’s one of the things where when we talk about the stigma, that term ‘commit’ suicide–I don’t like it, because my wife didn’t ‘commit’ cancer. But she was credited with perseverance, determination, courage, and battling–and we didn’t know that Jake was doing the same thing. So when we say “We Are All Jake,” it means that in life we’ve all got our battles, and we’ve all got to persevere through something… and it takes courage. Some days it’s one minute at a time, others it’s one day at a time. So for me, there’s no question that we are all Jake.
When Sarah reached out, I was struggling with what my purpose was. Being back in school, in front of students, in front of staff, it’s great now to be the guy that arrives after the bell and gets to leave before the last bell. I’m not in charge of anything, but I’m coming to you with something that’s of value–a resource, a curriculum through Project 11, that’s relevant and matters.
More about Smiles for Jake Within the Education System
Our biggest gain is that we are now into schools. We see grades 5 through 12, where we talk about the fact that it’s okay to not be okay. We also make sure that our students and staff of all different capacities within education know that they’ve got the resources, not only through Smiles for Jake, our 24/7 bot named Hope, but 988 as well.
Through my lens as a former educator, what’s interesting to see is that the students already know it’s there–it’s become their norm. What’s interesting is when we deal with the adults, through SMILE Advocate Sessions, they’re a little wigglier than the kids. I think it’s telling that our students now know that mental health is a part of everyday life. Adults, like my age and older, still have this kind of suck it up mentality–and I think the world has changed. I think families know that it truly takes a lot of people and resources to raise kids in today’s world.
When we get into schools, we crush the stigma–because the reality is, life isn’t perfect. Life is not easy. The students of today know that it’s okay to not be okay. I’m a music guy. And when I think of some of the artists that are majorly influencing our kids right now, I think Jelly Roll and his song, “I Am Not Okay.”
Public schools are fatigued–and we are a resource. For anyone who’s in education: we come in and we are the sub that day. We can be there for an hour, then hit rinse and repeat every hour. We can be the sub in that sixth grade science classroom or that 10th grade health classroom. And we come in with our curriculum through the Max Marvin Foundation, Project 11, and we bring the resources. We’re not a burden to your educators. We are a positive ad. We’re easy, we’re structured, and we do all the work.
SMILE Advocate Sessions
Comparing the Changing World Today to When Mike was in High School
I’m a product of the 80s, and all the great John Hughes movies. The Breakfast Club still holds up, because when you get into a high school… every demographic, every culture, every range of students is there. But kids are just expected to walk through the door and get along.
That’s not realistic to the world.
You learn what that’s like when you’re out in the workforce: you have coworkers that you gel with, and you have coworkers that you just clash with. But I think when I was growing up, there was just this mentality of “you just get through it.” I don’t remember social workers in my high school. We had guidance counselors, but they were very academic based. As an athlete in high school, we’d have football practices where they’d turn the water off to toughen us up.
I think the world has gotten kinder and the world recognizes the mental health needs of individuals of all ages and walks of life.
What Impact Do You Hope Smiles for Jake Creates in the Future?
I think the impact has arrived. That’s why we’re growing. Our advocate sessions have gone from single digit members to much larger. This summer, we had 200+ people from Edward Jones at Grandview Lodge. So when I think about our purpose and where we’re going, I think we’re already here, and we’re only going to get bigger.
Smiles for Jake, when it started, was about spreading kindness–and I think it was because it’s safe and it feels good. But through the dedication of the board and our efforts, we’ve gotten comfortable in having the uncomfortable conversation around suicide. We started off in the shallow end of the pool–and we’ve continued to dig a deeper end to that pool.
And unfortunately, suicide still happens. The loss of life still happens, and through tragedy, our relevancy and our purpose continues to grow. We’re here to serve a community and make sure they have the resources for themselves, a friend, a loved one, or even a complete stranger that’s in distress.
How can more people support the efforts to grow the foundation?
I think anyone can help, whether it’s attending an event or having us come in to speak to your organization. We’ve presented to a variety of group sizes, from six people to 200 people, two entire auditoriums, and gymnasiums full of people. Let us be a part of your organization. I think there’s organizations, whether they’re corporate or nonprofit, that are afraid to have the conversation because it’s just not in their wheelhouse. It’s not their jam.
We will do the heavy lifting for you.
And our message isn’t all heavy. We laugh a little, we cry a little, but we leave you thinking, and we leave you with the resources for yourself and those you care about.
Mike on hosting SMILE Advocate Sessions for schools and businesses.
Who should YOU, Dear Reader, talk to after this?
Anyone and everyone that’s willing to listen. Our goal is to eliminate the numbers behind suicide. So anyone and everyone we can talk to, give our message, get our resources out to, is worthy of that conversation.
We’re non-denominational. We want everybody!
Smile on,
Mike