The Search that Saved a Life

Where It Began

We were friends with Eryk – Jake’s dad – and when the tragedy happened, his friends all came together. We felt like we had to honor Jake’s memory somehow. So a handful of us—six or eight, in those first conversations—sat down and started throwing out ideas. That was the beginning of Smiles for Jake.

We’d seen so much division in our own area, so much silence around something people were quietly struggling with. We felt like we had to do something. Back then, nobody would even say the word “suicide” out loud. So before we ever thought about fundraising or programming, our first job was simply making it okay to talk about it—making sure people felt comfortable enough to reach out for help at all.

We knew we needed events, and we knew we needed education, but you have to start small. Our very first event was a music gathering for the community—food, music, awareness. It just grew from there, one idea at a time, keeping what stuck and building on it. We branched into education, into working with veterans and schools, into just giving something back to the community—bringing people together in a way that felt like an actual community again. A lot of those first ideas are still exactly what we do today.

The Moment That Made It Real

If you want to know why any of that matters, why we’ve kept showing up year after year, it comes down to one moment.

Every year since it started, we’ve worked the Smiles for Jake Halloween event. And almost every year, someone finds us in the crowd and comes up to say something. Last year, it was a teenager—a younger adult. He walked up and said, “I just want to thank you guys.” He told us he’d been thinking about taking his life. He said he’d searched online for how to do it, and Smiles for Jake was the first thing that came up. Seeing it stopped him. He looked at us and said, “You changed my life. I am here today.”

That’s it. That’s the whole reason. Even if we only ever changed one person, we know we’ve done our job. And we haven’t heard that from just one person—we’ve heard it from many. It tells us our mission is actually reaching the people who need to feel like they matter.

Why We Can’t Walk Away From This

Beyond our friendship with Eryk, this work is personal because we’ve had friends—people we loved—take their own lives. Honestly, we still can’t fully understand how someone gets to that place. But we can see how everyone goes through something: depression, the loss of a loved one, whatever it is. Some people have a strong support system of family and friends to carry them through it. Some people need more than family and friends can give. It’s different for everyone, and there’s no single path that works for everybody.

For us, a lot of it comes down to something simpler than any program or curriculum: people don’t connect with each other the way they used to. We text, we email, but we don’t sit down and really read someone’s face anymore—see how they’re actually doing instead of guessing from a screen. We think we have to get back to that. Real connection, in person, is part of what keeps people from falling through the cracks. It’s also why we believe so much in the education side of what we do.

Watching the Walls Come Down

We think the stigma is slowly breaking down, piece by piece, the more we get out there and talk to people. Mental health is just as important as physical health—you have to take care of yourself the same way, no shame attached. The more it’s talked about openly, the more those walls come down, and the more people feel comfortable actually reaching for the resources in front of them.

That’s why our education work goes everywhere: grade schools, middle schools, high schools, businesses, organizations. There’s a whole generation that still isn’t comfortable talking about mental health, or doesn’t believe there’s a problem to begin with, and we need to reach everybody, not just kids. The businesses we work with have received it well—we think it’s opening a lot of eyes. We have hundreds of volunteers now who’ve come out for our events, and that alone tells us people are becoming more comfortable being part of this conversation. Eighteen years ago, people didn’t want to discuss it at all. They didn’t even know how to ask someone, “Are you okay?”

What “We Are All Jake” Means to Us

We didn’t personally know Jake. He came up in conversation the way any parent talks about their kids—the same way we’d talk about ours. But that’s part of why “We Are All Jake” means so much to us: we all have struggles, and you can’t ever assume someone is okay just by looking at them.

What that means for us is simple—spread kindness, ask people how they’re really doing, step outside your comfort zone and talk to a stranger. It might be the thing that makes or breaks their entire day. Spreading kindness costs absolutely nothing, but it can leave an everlasting impact on someone you may never see again.

A Ripple That Keeps Moving Outward

That belief is what carries us forward. We want communities to feel seen, heard, and supported, because it becomes a domino effect—once Smiles for Jake is woven into a community, and that community is built on trust, it just keeps moving outward. That’s always been the plan: start at the grassroots, start small, let it build. We’ll keep growing from our community into the next one, and the next. We want kids to feel safe going to school. We want people, kids and adults alike, to feel supported instead of alone.

Smiles for Jake is well known around the Brainerd Lakes area now, but we think it’s reaching further than that. When we travel, we talk about Smiles for Jake, and people ask us for information. Last year we were overseas, and people there told us they don’t have resources like this—they were genuinely glad to hear what we’re doing. The word is spreading well beyond Minnesota, and we don’t think we’re close to done yet.

Come Find Out for Yourself

If you’ve never volunteered or worked with us before, we’d just tell you where we came from and where we are now—how much has changed, how many stories we could tell you. Once people hear that, the curiosity usually takes over. So just come out. Try one event. We’re all non-judgmental, and we’re all here supporting the exact same mission. In eight years, we’ve come a long way, and we’re only moving faster from here. It’s a great board, a great group of volunteers—and honestly, every time we go to an event, we’re smiling. It’s a joy generator.

And if you’re wondering who to talk to next, look at our volunteer list. Look for the names that show up again and again. There’s always a story behind the person who keeps coming back.

Smile on,

Troy & Karen

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. It’s never too late to change one person’s day—or their life. Support Smiles for Jake’s mission by donating, volunteering, or bringing us into your school or business.